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Experiencing a breakup is not as easy as it sounds, some therapists refer to this painful ordeal as grief. During this period, the person experiences a succession of moods within a short period of time and goes through levels of acceptance of the new situation. This therapy is divided into two main headings describing the passage from one end to the other and stipulating in their sentences commas and points to be respected. So what are these stages that a heartache goes through to be soothed?
Seeking consolation and comfort in denial
According to psychoanalyst Samuel Lepastier, Denial is fundamental to protect oneself from the pain of loss.
Nurturing the skeptical and destructive mind
This is the first stage of post-breakup denial. Just after a separation, we lose confidence in ourselves, we do not know if it was true or an illusion, we ask ourselves why? But if you doubt the feelings of the other person and the reality of the relationship, you can not realize the present situation. Especially, if you were the narcissistic partner, it is difficult to reveal it to yourself.
Glorifying the Other
A separation tends to play the role of an eraser. The absence creates a feeling of guilt and erases any bad memories of his ex, letting think that it is the perfect partner and irreplaceable. So blame yourself for being the cause of the breakup and start questioning your mistake or failure.
Falling into the pit of isolation
Indoctrinated by the idealization of his ex, a detachment is increasingly difficult. One sinks into thoughts of what to do now, where to go, how to live, even how to become financially independent again. All these unhealthy thoughts kill the desire to talk, to go out or to be with the world.
Start to admit the undeniable
At this stage, the collection of evidence begins. If you suffer then when the other has moved on, it is the piece that was missing from the puzzle.
Bitterness, anger and disgust
We were waiting for this to wake up and stop glorifying our ex. A feeling of hatred takes the place of blame, the questions change, from what you did to how much you gave yourself. It is during this stage of the breakup that you realize that your lover was not so perfect and you were not so bad and the seed of desire to move on is sown.
The tide of nostalgia
Between love and hate, resentment and indulgence, dependence and independence, nostalgia finds its way in. The intense grief felt should only be accompanied by the sigh of liberation.
Accept, accept and move on
Neither hatred nor nostalgia, at this stage, we can say that we are at the top of the pyramid. We have given up on our life as a couple.
Several factors can creep into the therapy or grief, having children together, friends in common or working together. This can work against healing, but cannot prevent it.
