I Was The Lost Girl Of The Entire World

*Before I start my story, I would like to say that I would like to know anyone and everyone’s opinion on this. It’s very important to me that I know what my readers want. So, if anyone has something to say, please write it in comments. I’ll appreciate it very much! :)*

I saw him. Laying on the floor. With a knife through his heart. And the problem was: I threw it. I felt the tears streaming down my face, salted black mascara dripping to the newly washed floor: the make-up that hid everything I really was. I wasn’t the lost girl at school anymore. I was the lost girl of the entire world. I didn’t know my place, I didn’t have a home to go to. I didn’t know what I my heart needed anymore. That’s not true. Alex is your hearts keeper. I knew that voice in my head like the back of my hand, it’s been there since I met Alex. “But Alex is dead now. He’s gone.” I whispered. I had to hear the words out loud. I had to face the truth now. What was the truth? What was my imagination and the reality now? I didn’t know anymore.

There were only two facts about life now, 1) love was a lie and 2) the real reality was everything I never had the chance to have. I lived on my thoughts. I lived on what I thought love and life was. The only part of reality I had, is gone now. Alex showed me that I was normal, that I was real and that I was someone worth loving. What if those words died with him? What it all the fears I’ve forgotten while I was with him came crawling back into that empty space in my mind? What if………. “NO!” I screamed. I heard glass breaking and opened my eyes. The glass vase that should have been on the table beside me, was smashed into a million pieces across the room. I threw it, I realized. Just like I threw the stupid knife! I fell to my knees. “I’m so sorry Alex! I had no reason to kill you! I had no reason! I need you… now more than ever!”

My sobs came out ragged and dry.”Allyna?” I heard Alex say my name. “What are you doing on the floor? I looked up at his corpse on the floor. Blood soaking his favourite blue shirt to a deep purple. ”Alex?” I whispered. “Allyna, I really wasn’t gone that long and you already threw a knife and vase?” He sounded so happy and sarcastic. Why wasn’t he angry? But Alex is dead…  The voice came as a reminder. There was no way that he could speak to me and there was no way I could be imagining this too. “Would you get up? We have to go!” Go where? To what place was there left to go to? I was going mad. I thought there was something I could do to stop this, but it was already happening. I couldn’t stop it. “But I’m a good girl. I listen. I care.” It was like I had to say everything out loud. I had to hear myself clearly. ”Allyna, what are you talking about? Come on, get up! We have to go!” I simply had to ignore my inner thoughts. Alex is gone. Alex is gone. He’s never coming back. He’s never coming back. The words echoed in my head and soon my world turned red, gray and black. There was nothing left in me. I was part of the dead, just walking among the living….

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