Funny Facts about Helen Keller

How does Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel and one hand one the road!

Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face?
She tried eating with a fork.

If Helen Keller fell down in the woods,
would she make a sound?

Whats helen keller’s favorite color?
Black

Why does Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you can read her lips!

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas?
Polio! she had everything else.

Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll?
You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!

What was Helen Keller’s favorite candy?
Skittles. Can’t see the rainbow, but at least she can taste it.

Why didn’t Helen Keller change her baby’s diaper?
So she could always find him.

Why was Helen Keller’s leg wet?
Her dog was blind too.

Who is the smartest man in the world?
The guy who raped Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn’t scream for help.

Did you hear that new Helen Keller joke?
Don’t worry, neither did she.

What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?
She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger in the toilet.

How many kids did Helen Keller have?
NONE! The plunger went all the way through!

Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
Because she’s a woman!

No seriously why can’t Helen Keller drive?
Because she’s dead!

How did Helen Keller break her arms?
Trying to read road signs at 40mph.

Why was Helen Keller’s belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind, too.

Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in the backyard?
Neither did she

What is it called when you blow in Helen Keller’s ear?
Data transfer.

How do you punish Helen Keller?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner!

What happened when Helen Keller tried to rob a bank?
She tied up the safe and blew up the guards.

How did Helen Keller burn her face?
By answering the iron!

How did the Helen Keller try to kill the bird?
She threw it off a cliff.

How did she burn the other side of her face?
They called back!

How do you torture Helen Keller?
Rearrange the furniture.
Glue doorknobs to the walls.
Put her in a round room and told her there’s a penny in the corner.
Put Saran Wrap on the toilet.

How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff?
She was wearing mittens

How did Helen Keller meet her husband?
On a blind date!

How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?
Answering the stapler.

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