Devotarkus

Devotarkus:

On a space station far from the center of the galaxy, one lonely man paced back and forth. He called himself Darth Odious. He had gathered a small army of disgruntled males, who were angry about the fact that women had taken over the universe. Darth Odious had vowed to destroy the feminist empire that had been created by Darth Nympho. He vowed to restore male supremacy to the universe. An officer come in, bearing an official tablet. “Here is an official news report from Robotarkus, my lord.” Darth Odious didn’t stop pacing the floor, he just shouted,”What is it, read it to me!” The officer read from the digital tablet, explaining that the young girl, Synette, had been taken from the planet Robotarkus by a female invader, and the identity of the female invader was not known. Darth Odious scowled, “I should have known not to trust a robot to do a man’s job! I sent robots to kidnap Synette, and take her to Robotarkus! Well,they did it, but she was only held on Robotarkus for a short time. She wasn’t held there long enough for us to use our mind-control system on her. If it had worked, we could have made her loyal to our side.” The officer said, “What do you want to do now?” Darth Odious said, “I want to give a speech to my troops. Gather all the troops who are not currently on active duty to the assembly hall.” The officer said, “Yes, my lord.”

About a hundred men gathered, as ordered. Darth Odious came in, dressed in black. He began to speak to his troops. “I see there are only about a hundred of you here. Most of my troops have remained at their duty stations, so they will not have the chance to hear me declare war, in person. You are the lucky ones! You shall hear my declaration of war with your own ears! You shall see it with your own eyes! You can tell your comrades about it later, but for now I want you gathered all around me, so you can hear it. I am declaring war against the feminist empire! Today is a great day! Today is a day that will be remembered forever! The tyranny of the feminist empire must end! When we attack the feminist empire, we will begin a great war of male against female! We will fight the females, and we will destroy their empire! We will fight on to victory, and in the end, we will restore male supremacy to the universe!”

The man in the room cheered. It was a breach of military discipline, they were not allowed to make a sound while their leader was speaking, but they cheered anyway. The excitement was uncontrollable. Darth Odious smiled. It was rare for him to smile, but when the heard the cheers of his men, he smiled broadly. He waited a moment for the cheers to die down, then he spoke again. “In less than twenty-four hours, I will order the first group of space cruisers in our army assault group to make their attacks on space stations controlled by the feminist empire. The war should not last long. It will not take us long to achieve victory. It will take a few weeks, a few months, at the most. After the feminist empire is destroyed, I shall rule, and I shall restore male supremacy to the universe!” After hearing that the men cheered again. They began to shout, “Hail Odious! Hail Odious! Hail Odious!”

Darth Odious waved his fist in the air as he spoke, “On dozens of planets, all over the universe, women have ruled! Men have been officially thrown out of the governments of more than thirty-seven planets, and they have been unofficially dismissed from the governments of dozens more! Men have been removed from power at every level, on nearly every planet across the galaxy! Darth Nympho and her army of female warriors has controlled trade, politics, and communications in all sectors of the galaxy! But, now her rule will come to an end! Now, at last, she will be defeated, and her army of female warriors will burn in the flames of defeat! She will be reduced to dust! Her feminist empire will be reduced to dust! And when it is finished, men will rule the galaxy once again! Male supremacy will reign forever!” The soldiers in the room shouted again, “Hail Odious! Hail Odious! Hail Odious!”

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